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Mayweather-Cotto: A Star Lets Us Down

By mikemccall on May 6, 2012 in

The Saturday night prize fight between Floyd Mayweather and Miguel Cotto was a chance for one of the world’s premier entertainers to remind us all why he belongs on top. The occasion called for the kind of career-defining performance that his rabid fanbase was expecting. This demanded confidence, swagger, and execution.

By that measure, Justin Bieber let us down.

The Mayweather-Cotto fight was a good one, filled with earnest attempts to punch each other — an unfortunately rare occurrence in big bouts — and Mayweather’s stunning quickness and masterful defense.

But the biggest buzz from the evening will undoubtedly be Mayweather’s march to the ring. It started in ordinary fashion: Mayweather sauntering through the bowels of the MGM Grand Garden Arena in a red leather vest with spikes on the shoulders, flanked by a massive entourage wearing various “Money Team” apparel. 50 Cent was there, so was Triple H.

Then Bieber showed up. Continue reading →

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Secondhand Sports: The FSU Spring Game

By mikemccall on April 16, 2012 in

Welcome to the latest installment of Secondhand Sports, where I give you the inside track on a sporting event you most likely did not care to attend. This time, prepare for an in-depth look at FSU’s spring football game, which was mostly spent focusing on anything but FSU’s spring football game.

If there’s one lesson I learned from my childhood, it’s this: Go for the party, skip the spring football game.

Growing up, we always attended East Carolina’s Pigskin Pigout Party for the BBQ, music, autographs, and to see PeeDee the Pirate. But ECU’s spring game, the main event of the weekend, was always the lowest priority — and for good reason.

Spring games are the biggest affront to the term “spectator sport” that I could imagine. It’s a scrimmage masquerading as a real football game. Scoring systems are often made up and arbitrary, players switch teams, contact is limited, and it doesn’t matter one iota who wins. I’d rather watch paraplegic figure skating (actually, that might be awesome).

For coaches and players, they’re important, along with every other precious second of preseason practice time. But my real problem is that the rest of us are supposed to act like we care. I lost a piece of my soul every time I had to pretend that, “Yea, Deonte Thompson really looks primed for a big year. Did you see that go-route he ran in the third quarter of the spring game?”

Everyone is clamoring for a sneak peek of what their team will look like the following fall, but it doesn’t really work that way. Remember when Markus Manson led all rushers at UF’s 2006 spring game? Or when Chevon Walker did the same thing the next year? Or when Cam Newton threw for more yards than Tim Tebow in 2007? Well, maybe we should have paid more attention to that last one.

The point is that these things aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. It’s just a practice, but after a weekend in Tallahassee for the Seminoles’ spring game, I can understand the allure a little more.

Here’s how it went down (all times are approximate; it was that kind of day): Continue reading →

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Urban didn’t “break” UF, he just ran out of good players

By mikemccall on April 11, 2012 in

The demonizing of Urban Meyer hit perhaps an all-time high this week, when Matt Hayes of Sporting News dropped this bombshell of an article detailing “How Urban Meyer broke Florida football.”

The basic points are that Meyer fostered a poisonous environment at UF by letting his most prized players — dubbed the “Circle of Trust” — run wild by covering up their drug use and allowing prima-donna behavior. By the end of his time in Gainesville, he had completely lost control of the team, which led to a sense of entitlement and lack of discipline that has left the Gators a shadow of the program that dominated college football a few years ago.

(I like to imagine that the “Circle of Trust” involved an elaborate induction ceremony, where strength coach Mickey Marotti dead-lifted the player in front of the rest of the group while junior member Wondy Pierre-Louis beat a drum and sang “In the Ciiiiiircle, the Circle of Trust”).

The whole thing is summed up perfectly in this quote from former UF safety Bryan Thomas: “As far as coaching, there’s no one else like (Meyer). He’s a great coach. He gets players to do things you never thought you could do. But he’s a bad person. He’ll win at Ohio State. But if he doesn’t change, they’re going to have the same problems.”

But is the slam job fair? Probably not. Continue reading →
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March Mistake: 64 Bets During the NCAA Tournament

By mikemccall on April 3, 2012 in

Note: If you’re a member of law enforcement, the following is purely fictional.

My March Madness gambling binge began — where else — in a bathroom stall.

Usually, my sports-betting is limited to very specific circumstances where I have in-depth knowledge, such as last fall, when betting lines were repeatedly set that confused Florida with a good football team. Banking on the magical powers of Mondo Bummer John Brantley, I made six straight winning bets against the Gators.

Other than that, I’m pretty quiet. Well, I did used to wager on MLS matches (perhaps the most degenerate bet possible), but that ended once bookmakers actually started paying attention to the sport instead of throwing down random numbers. I don’t even bet on my biggest sports passion — East Carolina football games — because the Pirates are far too unpredictable. The only way to make a profit would be if there was a bet that said, “Mike will be pissed off after watching this game.”

But in the last month, my responsible nature went out the window. On the first day of the NCAA Tournament, I was at work, half-following the action on my phone. As always, I had joined a few bracket pools, but I had no intention of any further gambling.

Then, one little Tweet sent me on an adventure that has led me here: praying that Kansas makes the first three-pointer in tonight’s national title game so I can get my $115 back.

Continue reading →

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Tebow to the Jaguars would be bad for both sides

By mikemccall on March 20, 2012 in , ,

Picture this: You’ve been living in a crappy house with a so-so job and very few friends. The only thing going for you is your car — a badass little roadster that’s fast and reliable. But even with the car, you’re kind of the joke of the neighborhood.

But then you decide to turn things around. You slowly start renovating the house, and you go out and meet an okay-looking blonde from Missouri — she’s like a 6, but you’re thinking she’s a late-bloomer and you get along well enough, so you propose, and now she’s got a bun in the oven.

Things aren’t perfect, but they’re getting better. Even though the fiancee still needs work, the meat loaf is a little less burned every Wednesday night. One day, while you’re out shopping for some new cooking ware to help the lady out and some supplies to fix your leaky roof, you spot a PS3 on sale.

It’s a good deal, but it’s going to mean less time to work on the house, and it’s going to make you a crappy husband and father. On the other hand, you’ll be having so much fun that you won’t give a damn about the roof or the wife. Hell, you might not even need the car anymore. And God, it would be awesome. You’d finally be able to get some friends to come hang out with you!

What do you do?

To unravel that absurd and half-coherent analogy: You are the Jacksonville Jaguars, Blaine Gabbert is the fiancee, your receiving corps is kitchen supplies, the roof is your offensive line, Maurice Jones-Drew is your car, and Tim Tebow is the PS3 (you’re welcome for skipping the part that involved David Garrard and assless leather chaps).

Except in the real-life version, that ps3 isn’t just on sale, everyone is pounding on your windows screaming at you to go buy it.

In addition to sparking a level of outrage not seen in Tennessee since the state made bestiality a felony, Peyton Manning‘s move to the Denver Broncos immediately reignited Tebowmania in Jacksonville, where talk of The Chosen One’s potential return dominated everything from social media to men’s rooms to the local news.

But — with the Jags’ current situation — adding Tebow would be bad for both sides. Continue reading →

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Bounty scandal makes fans decide: What kind of NFL do you want?

By mikemccall on March 6, 2012 in

We live in the age of the No Fun League, where fans complain that entertaining celebrations are castrated, that quarterbacks are coddled by rules that have turned pro football “soft,” and that multi-millionaire athletes have few reasons to give 100 percent on the field after they join “The 1%” off of it.

Amid all this, one man – one shining white knight — found a solution. Even if by accident.

You want hits? Oh, he’ll give you hits. He’ll also make sure his players go balls to the wall, and you can bet on a boatload of swagger to go along with it.

But instead of being the face of the NFL’s rebirth as a rough, tough, man’s game, St. Louis Rams defensive coordinator Gregg Williams is a villain, a character being roundly slammed as deplorable and despicable. The controversy stems from Williams’ system of “bounties” when he coached for the New Orleans Saints, Washington Redskins, and possibly other teams.

Williams dished out extra cash based on players’ accomplishment of specific objectives during a game. This ranged from pretty agreeable rewards for key plays like a fumble recovery, all the way up to knocking an opposing player out of a game.

Understandably, this will be punished, and because this is really nothing more than an internal NFL matter, the league can (and will) handle this however it wants.

But the issue has an effect on fans too. As you sort out an opinion on the issue, you have to stop and think. What do you want to see on Sundays in the fall? For me, I’m cool with what Williams did. Continue reading →

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USA’s win over Italy: Not a big deal, which makes it a big deal

By mikemccall on March 1, 2012 in

It’s an eye-catching headline: “United States notches first-ever win against Italy, hands Azzurri first loss in Genoa since 1924. Mike Piazza watches from stands.”

But the further you look into it, the less impressive that becomes.

The Italians were without talented strikers Mario Balotelli (being an asshole), Antonio Cassano (injury) and Giuseppe Rossi (burning an American flag). And though they’ve looked much better lately than the squad that flamed out at the 2010 World Cup, they really aren’t all that great.

It was also a friendly with nothing on the line. And the 1924 stat is less wowing when you consider Italy has only played there four times in the past six years. The others:
- 3-0 against Serbia in 2010
- 1-1 against Switzerland in 2010
- 2-0 against Georgia in 2007 (and Knowshon Moreno was out with a pulled hamstring)

I’m done raining on the parade yet. Continue reading →

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Inside the World of Teenage Native American Prison Basketball

By mikemccall on February 29, 2012 in

Welcome to the third edition of “McSeanin’ It Like He Sees It,” where our special correspondent and Montana Bureau Chief takes us into a realm of sport that is oft-discussed but seldom seen: Teenage Native American Prison Basketball.

This assignment is arguably Sean’s most dangerous yet (though the mental anguish he suffered at the Gator Bowl was probably more damaging), but it’s also a heart-warming tale of how an orange ball can bring “Kill Whitey” criminals together with a honky and future law student from a yuppie town in Florida.

My comments are in italics. Take it away, Sean:

—

So out here at Montana Tech, where I am the Czar of Funk and Rhythm (what, like you know what I actually do?), I supervise 12 programs within the Butte community.

One of those programs is a mentoring service at a juvenile maximum security prison called Reintegrating Youthful Offenders (RYO). RYO is one of the highest security juvenile prisons in the country. What I’m trying to say is that the inmates — or “offenders” as we’re supposed to call them — are not very nice people. Continue reading →

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Is America racist? Maybe, but we’re Linsanely uptight

By mikemccall on February 23, 2012 in

There are many things I love about Jeremy Lin, but perhaps my favorite part of the Knicks point guard’s rise to stardom is the debate it has sparked about stereotypes, specifically their place in sports and humor.

Lin serves as a kind of dividing line in this discussion – like an ancient, enormous, elaborate stone wall meandering through the countryside that separates those who can take a joke from those who are far too uptight, and separates those who can make a joke from those whose sense of humor is lazy and misguided.

Despite being by all accounts a deeply religious and humble guy, Lin has spawned plenty of controversy — from boxer Floyd Mayweather’s comment that Lin is only a big deal because he’s Asian and not black, to ESPN’s much-criticized “Chink in the Armor” headline (and other mishaps), to an untold number of everyday jokes made on Twitter or among friends.

But let’s start with one thing we should all be able to agree upon: the picture to the left is hilarious. If you don’t think so, it’s probably best for you to just bail on this column right now. Continue reading →

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Tuesday Night Nickelback: Leave Gisele alone, and ECU gets snubbed again

By mikemccall on February 8, 2012 in ,

Tuesday Night Nickelback is the name of my new weekly column that focuses on multiple topics. It is no longer new, and it has been more than a week since the last one. The name changes frequently, but the half-assed analysis is the same.

Tonight’s topics: Gisele get hated for hating on the Patriots receivers, and ECU watches another shitty team leap them into the Big East:

GISELE GOES OFF

Supermodel Gisele Bundchen is getting a bunch of flak from fans and media members for her  ”outburst” after watching husband Tom Brady and the Patriots lose the Super Bowl. While getting taunted by Giants fans on her way out of the luxury box level, Gisele turned to a friend and said, “My husband cannot f—ing throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time.”

Cue the madness.

Gisele is being called spoiled, surly, arrogant and everything in between. A brat who is tearing apart the Patriots’ locker room with her divisive vitriol. I would link a bunch of columns, but let’s just pick one. Oh, how about this super sarcastic one from the NY Post. USA Today and several other publications ran national polls on the issue. The opinion — among most media members, at least — is that Gisele should keep her mouth shut.

I don’t like the Patriots (evil), I don’t like Brady (tuck rule), and I don’t even think Gisele is that attractive, but I feel bad for all three of them. The media was the only person who spoke out of turn in this situation. Continue reading →

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