Category Archives: Gators

If last week was the kitchen sink, it’s time for Weis to throw the whole kitchen

October 6, 2011 11:29 pm , Leave a Comment ,

Florida offensive coordinator Charlie Weis sparked widespread optimism last week when he promised the Gators’ offense would “throw the kitchen sink” at Alabama. Instead, UF threw up in the bathroom toilet.

The Gators — some puke still lingering on their shirt and in their hair — now must face No. 1 LSU on the road for what is potentially an even tougher test. Stud quarterback John Brantley is out (luckily), and no one is giving Florida much of a shot. Even ESPN.com piled on today, throwing up a front-page headline proclaiming UF is “In For Another Beating” (in a game televised by CBS, it’s worth noting).

Sure, there was some creativity in last week’s offense, like when the Gators threw an unexpected deep ball on the first play for a 65-yard touchdown. And then there was…well, I guess that was it.

So what should we expect from the Gators’ offense this time out? Forget the sink, it’s time to throw the whole kitchen at the Tigers:

Andre Debose: The Faucet

Debose was the only part of the sink that was thrown in the 38-10 loss. He had a 65-yard touchdown, a just-missed would-be touchdown on a perfectly thrown fade route from Brantley, and a 25-yard catch that set up Brantley’s pick-6 in the second quarter.

You want water? Turn on a faucet. You want yards? Turn on Debose. Rumors have swirled that Debose has been slow to grasp the playbook, and that’s the only legitimate reason for his lack of productivity.

Maybe the Debose faucet doesn’t flow exactly where it’s supposed to, but something is going to happen. He’s one of the best playmakers on this team (a select group), and he needs the rock.

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Lemonade: Why John Brantley’s injury could be a good thing

October 5, 2011 12:52 am , 2 Comments ,

No, not because he sucks.

In fact, I wouldn’t even describe John Brantley as sucking anymore. He’s kind of just there.

But the Gators need him to be there if they’re going to have a shot at winning the SEC East. Florida will not be a passing team, but they need someone who can occasionally step up and keep defenses honest. Brantley was doing just that against Alabama, putting up 190 yards in less than two quarters before the Crimson Tide injured his ankle and castrated UF, 38-10.

Yes, he threw a touchdown pass to Bama’s Courtney Upshaw, but he also connected with Andre Debose for a 65-yard score on the game’s first play and looked generally OK.

At any rate, it was enough of a showing to inspire some confidence that UF could win behind Brantley. But after seeing how thoroughly the Gators were pushed around by the Tide, it’s clear that this team is essentially the same squad from 2010, and there are some games they just aren’t going to win.

One of those games is this Saturday at No. 1 LSU. Even with Brantley, this isn’t a good matchup for two-touchdown underdog Florida.

So, let’s focus on the winnable games. If the Gators can beat Auburn, Georgia, Vanderbilt and South Carolina, they’re in great shape to serve as the pinata at the SEC West’s BCS Championship Game Going Away Party in the Georgia Dome.

Those are all very possible in my mind (as long as Stephen Garcia gets his job back), but the Gators need Brantley to win them. Freshman Jeff Driskel isn’t ready. That’s completely understandable, but it’s just not his time yet.

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Is the New-Car Smell Masking the Gators’ Problems?

September 28, 2011 3:12 am , 8 Comments ,

I recently purchased a new Hyundai Santa Fe. It drives, looks and smells great.

Sure, sometimes it doesn’t handle a bump well or it makes a weird noise. In fact, sometimes it makes the same noise while braking that my Jeep used to make — the sound that made me say “This damn American-made car is going to fall apart any second.” But when my new whip grinds its way to a stop, it’s cool. Cuz it’s new.

In reality, that noise comes from the way that I brake, but mask my driving with a new facade and I’m willing to block it out.

Here’s what I’m getting at: Steve Addazio is a 2002 Jeep Grand Cherokee, Charlie Weis is a 2011 Hyundai Santa Fe (gotta be the first time he’s been classified as “midsize”), and John Brantley is a 19-year-old blonde with a rough history of accidents — he looks great behind the wheel until there’s an airbag in his face. The Gators traded in for a new ride, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll get from Point A to Point Georgia Dome in one piece.

Florida’s 4-0 start, 31-point margin of victory and 461 average yards of offense have drawn widespread praise for Weis’ offensive geniusory (try to slip that past an opponent in Scrabble) and Brantley’s sudden un-suckitude.

The perception of the Gators has changed so much in the last month that the line for this weekend’s showdown between No. 12 UF and No. 3 Alabama opened with the Tide favored by about 4.5 points, then moved down to around 3.5 because people were betting on Florida.

Even more shocking: I was able to call this a showdown without laughing out loud.

There’s no doubt that Florida looks better so far this season. The numbers are higher, Chris Rainey is going apeshit, and they’ve been more entertaining to watch. But I can still hear the brakes squeaking.

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Five Things I Learned From Florida-Tennessee

September 18, 2011 12:18 am , 3 Comments ,

Florida’s back!

Charlie Weis is a genius!

John Brantley is awesome again!

My new website design is less-retarded-looking than the previous one!

I’m not convinced of any of these things, but here’s what I’m confident of after watching the Gators’ 33-23 “rivalry” win against the Volunteers:

1. This means little more than just another early season W

True, UF held Tennessee to negative-9 rushing yards (seems like that happens every year now) and were never really in danger of losing, but Tennessee played like dogshit. And not the kind that’s solid and easy to scoop, I’m talking about a runny, nasty, triple-grocery-bagger performance.

They couldn’t snap the ball to quarterback Tyler Bray, they struggled mightily with Florida’s defensive line (which will be fun to watch this year), star wideout Justin Hunter went down with an injury five minutes in, and they failed to grasp the most basic requirement for shutting down UF’s offense: FOLLOW CHRIS RAINEY.

Rainey, Jeff Demps and Trey Burton (it hurts to say that) are the only proven threats the Gators had, and it’s inexcusable that the Vols ever lost sight of him. The poorest display came on Rainey’s 2-yard-ish catch in the third quarter that became an 83-yard touchdown when the UT defense acted like he had a bomb strapped to his chest.

Add this to the 41-3 win against FAU and 39-0 drubbing of UAB, and the Gators are 3-0 for the seventh straight year. But that’s just it: 3-0 means nothing. Those seven undefeated starts have ended in everything from national titles to the Outback and Capital One Bowls. It’s hard to gauge how far along this UF squad really is when they’ve only chomped on two cupcakes and a mediocre Tennessee team that played like a terrible Tennessee team.

Nonetheless, Florida could just as easily have wet the bed in these three games. They didn’t, and that should count for something, but forgive me for being a little skeptical of the likely top-15 ranking awaiting them. And remember: UF beat UT by 14 last year, and it turned out the Gators kinda sucked.

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